


Green Eggs and Soulmarks

by ShiTiger



Series: Soulmate Stories [3]
Category: Green Eggs and Ham (Cartoon), Green Eggs and Ham - Dr. Seuss
Genre: M/M, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:47:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23501827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShiTiger/pseuds/ShiTiger
Summary: Sam brushed up the fur covering his wrist to reveal the mark.  A tender smile crossed his lips as he traced the little green egg, no bigger than his nose, inked onto his skin.  (in which Sam and Guy are soulmates, and Guy finds out in the worst way possible.  Happy ending, I promise)
Relationships: Guy Am I/Sam I Am (Green Eggs and Ham)
Series: Soulmate Stories [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1678192
Comments: 5
Kudos: 47





	1. Chapter 1

Sam brushed up the fur covering his wrist to reveal the mark. A tender smile crossed his lips as he traced the little green egg, no bigger than his nose, inked onto his skin. Most people had a hidden soulmark, although a rare few were born without them.

Some people spent their entire lifetime searching for their one true love. At least, that was how people usually described soulmates. That one other person, in the entire world, that was perfect for you in every way. Sam’s own soulmate was handsome and smart and inventive, even if he was a bit of a grump. 

Thinking of Guy made his heart clench in his chest, and he swept the fur back over his mark. There was no way he could ever tell his best friend that they were meant for each other. Not when Guy clearly liked Michellee. And definitely not when Sam had been lying to him about his entire life. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t be there to support his soulmate in finding happiness with someone else. 

Sam began to crawl forward through the air duct with Mr. Jeepers right behind him. He needed to rescue his Guy… no, not HIS Guy, his friend who happened to be named Guy. He would rescue him from The Bad Guys, and they would find a way to send Mr. Jeepers home, and then… and then he’d help his soulmate woo the woman he was clearly enamored with. Once that was over, and he’d made sure his soulmate was as happy as he could be, then he’d leave – like he always did. Because despite his smiles and his cheery personality, Sam wouldn’t be able to stay and watch the love of his life with someone else. 

“It’s not like I’ll never see him again. Maybe we’ll exchange postcards for a while. I’ll make up some wild adventures to keep EB entertained, and congratulate Guy on finally settling down. Maybe they’ll… maybe they’ll even have another kid,” Sam whispered to himself, his voice catching in his throat as he brushed tears from his eyes. “A kid who will be just as inventive as his dad. Heck, maybe the kiddo will even call me, ‘Uncle Sam.’”

Sam took in a deep breath, and let it out slowly. The chickaraff let out a curious squawk behind him. “It’s fine, Mr. Jeepers,” the little man sighed. He reached back to pat his animal friend on the head. “It’s better this way. Guy deserves better. He… he deserves to fall in love with someone who will be honest with him. If he found out the truth about me, he’d…” Sam paused, letting out a shaky breath. “He’d hate me forever. So we can’t let him know that I’m his soulmate. Okay, Mr. Jenkins? This is our little secret.”

* * *

“We know the truth about your little pal, Sam. His aliases, his schemes, even his soulmark. It’s all there in the files. He stole the chickaraff to sell to a collector. My partner is the next room with the Goat. One of you is gonna tell us the name of that collector, and the other is gonna be in BIG trouble in a little cell. Which one do you want to be?” The larger man stood up, glaring down at Guy. “Think it over.”

Guy jumped as the door slammed shut behind the officer. How could this have happened? He let Sam into his life, and the cheerful little man had lied to him from the start. He’d even introduced him to his parents! And what did he have to show for it? He was chained to a desk, being threatened with jail time – oh, wait… he already went to jail for Sam! 

The former inventor let out a groan, and flopped down on the desk. Sam-I-Am, or whoever he really was, was likely selling poor Mr. Jenkins to that collector, and making off with his ill-gotten wealth. How could he have been so blind? So stupid? So… 

Guy sat up quickly, searching through the reports in front of him for any sign that the officers had been wrong. That Sam wasn’t the con artist they claimed he was. And that was when he saw it. Next to the word ‘Soulmark’ on each report was a picture of a tiny green egg. A very, very familiar green egg.

Guy-Am-I drew in a shaky breath as he forced himself to push the fur away from his wrist. There it was, as plain as the nose on his face. Sam’s soulmark was a match to his own. 

“It can’t be. He can’t be my soulmate,” the former inventor whispered, drawing a hand down his face. It was horrifying to even consider. Back when they’d first met, the Sam’s exuberant personality had threatened his sanity on multiple occasions. If he’d know they were soulmates, he would have refused to have anything to do with him. Sam had been stringing him along the entire time. 

Then an upsetting thought crossed his mind. What if Sam knew they were soulmates? What if Sam had been manipulating him through their bond from the start?

His thoughts were interrupted as the ceiling tiles began to rattle and shake, before one tile was pulled sideways. A familiar head topped with wild pink hair flowed down from the ceiling, followed by Sam-I-Am, wearing a hat-to-toe black ninja costume. The sight almost made Guy huff aloud.

“There’s my boo,” Sam laughed, spinning around.

“How long have you known?”

“How long have I known what, Guy?”

Guy leaned closer to the smaller man, his lips pulled back as he spat out the words, “How long have you known about our soulmarks.” The horrified widening of Sam’s eyes said it all. He’d known they were soulmates, and hadn’t said a word about it to Guy.

“Since you fell asleep in the car after I picked you up the second time,” the little man admitted, instinctively brushing his fingers over his own wrist. “It was rude to look without asking, I know, but there was just something about you…”

“I can’t believe you, Sam – if that is your real name! Not only are you a con artist and a bamboozler, but you violated my privacy. You don’t just look at another person’s soulmark without their permission,” Guy fumed, the anger boiling within him.

“I know that. And I’m really, really sorry, Guy, but we have to…”

“Stop talking!” Guy snapped. Sam and Mr. Jenkins drew back, wary of his outburst. “Everything you ever told me was a lie! You’re a wanted criminal, AND you’re planning to sell Mr. Jenkins to a collector.”

Sam slid onto the table, and grabbed the chickaraff’s cheeks. “When I stole him, he wasn’t Mr. Jenkins yet. I made the deal with Snerz before I even got to know the big fella.”

Guy’s eyes widened in disbelief. “Snerz is the collector? As in ‘Snerzco?’” 

“Yes. But the plan now is to reunite Jenkins with his family on Chickaraff Island,” said Sam.

“I want to believe you…” He did, he truly did. Guy would give anything to go back in time to the days when he didn’t know what his little friend was capable of. “I want to believe you, but I can’t.”

“You have to. I may not be able to find my mother, but Jenkin’s mom is a balloon ride away. Please. You can trust me.” Sam held out his hand, his smile hopeful.

“No! Just get out of here, and leave Mr. Jenkins with me,” Guy insisted forcefully. 

“I know you’re not happy about this little setback in our relationship,” Sam tried to explain.

“We have no relationship! Why do you have so many aliases?” Guy shouted, waving the files in his former friend’s face.

“Because nobody’s… nobody’s ever wanted me to stay the same person before. Nobody’s ever stuck around long enough.”

“Oh, there’s a reason nobody’s ever stuck around this long, Sam. Believe me, I know. Because I’ve tried. I’ve tried you as a friend, and you don’t fit. You don’t fit ANYBODY, not even your own mother. How could I expect you to be a good soulmate when you…” Guy froze, instantly regretting his words. How could he be so heartless? 

Sam was gazing down at the desk, tears clearly welling up in the corners of his eyes. 

“Sam, that last bit…” Guy began awkwardly.

“Don’t. Just don’t…” Sam wiped the tears from his eyes, unable to hide the hitch in his voice.

Guy slumped into his seat. “I’m sorry, Sam. I’m sorry.” He reached out, hoping to reason with the smaller man, but Sam flinched away, rising to his feet. He climbed onto Mr. Jenkin’s neck, his hands gripping the animal’s antenna lightly. 

“No, no, no… you’re right. I am a horrible soulmate. You’re better off with Michellee. At least she’s been honest with you from the start,” Sam chuckled dryly. “Come on, Mr. Jenkins.”

“No, wait! Sam, you can’t leave like this! You can’t leave m… you can’t sell him,” Guy yelled, leaping up from his chair. The chain around his wrist gave a loud clang as it stopped him short. He watched as his soulmate and Mr. Jenkins slipped into the air duct, and disappeared.

Collapsing back into his chair, Guy cradled his head in his hands as he stared down at the desk. So this was it. It was all over. Sam was gone, Mr. Jenkins would end up as a billionaire’s pet, and Guy was alone - again. 

A few minutes later, the two officers stepped into the room, slamming the door behind them.

Guy glanced up, and in a resigned tone announced, “The collector is Snerz.”

* * *

Guy sat in silence, staring at the paint on the wall. Yet his thoughts kept returning to the one person he couldn’t forget. His adorable little white and yellow furred Sam-I-Am. A wry smile drifted over his lips. It just wasn’t fair. Sam had admitted to being a con artist, and was very likely selling Mr. Jenkins to a collector at that very moment, but Guy still couldn’t hate him. 

Yes, the whole stealing animals and selling them was a horrible job, but maybe Sam’s past had something to do with it. Being abandoned by his mother, and growing up in an orphanage couldn’t have been easy for the little guy. Perhaps by the time he reached adulthood, he’d given up hope of having a stable life. 

Maybe if Guy could find him, he could help Sam give up his life of crime. His soulmate’s overwhelming positivity would be an asset in any job he chose to pursue. He couldn’t fail worse than Guy, that’s for sure.

Soulmate… This was the first time Guy had actually been happy to think of Sam as his soulmate. If he’d known Sam was his soulmate, he might have done things differently. Well, at least by the time they’d had their little heart-to-heart in the tree house. Guy felt his cheeks flush as he remembered Sam sitting next to him in the tent, his face tinted blue from the nearby pinwheel. He’d been so sad, talking about how his mother abandoned him. If Guy had known they were soulmates, he would have given in to the temptation to pull Sam close for a comforting snuzzle. And then he might have even stroked the smaller man’s cheek, and pressed their lips toge…

“KEEP WATCHING THAT PAINT!”

“Yes, sir.”

* * *

The wall suddenly began to shake, and a little voice could be heard through the wall. Pressing his ear to the wall, Guy realized that the voice belonged to EB. And she was yelling “Mr. Jenkins!”

If Mr. Jenkins and EB were next door, that meant that Sam was there. He could save his soulmate from making the worst mistake of their lives!

* * *

Here they were, sitting at a small diner at the Cold Airport. And Sam was definitely NOT happy to see him.

“The truth is… you’re the best friend I’ve ever had,” Guy admitted.

“I’m the only friend you’ve ever had,” Sam grumbled back.

“Yes, but that still makes you the best,” Guy tried to joke. 

Sam frowned, his lips pressed together tightly. “You know, the only thing that’s ever hurt as much as missing my mom is what you said about her leaving me.”

“I know,” Guy sighed. “But is there any way you can try to forgive me?”

“I don’t know,” Sam sighed, turning his attention back to the countertop. 

“So… um, you’re not upset about the soulmate thing?” Guy asked, remembering his other careless words.

“I told you, Guy. You’re better off with Michellee.” Sam leaned forward, resting his chin on his arms. “Fate shouldn’t have given me a soulmate. I don’t deserve one, and you deserve better.”

“That’s not true, Sam. Sure, you’ve made some bad choices in life, but so have I. If anyone deserves a better soulmate, it’s you,” Guy argued.

“Guy, that’s horrible. You’re an amazing person,” Sam replied, snapping out of his stupor. “You have more talent in your pinky than I have in my entire body. I… I’m not really good at anything.” A plate of green eggs and ham was placed between them, and the little man pulled it close.

His friend… his soulmate was feeling down again. Why couldn’t Sam just accept that Guy thought he was great. What would it take to convince him that he was serious… Oh. That was it! “

_It’s not easy to warm up a friendship gone cold. It takes something big, something huge, something BOLD!_

Guy reached out, and snatched up the plate of green eggs and ham. He placed it firmly in front of him, and picked up the fork.

“Guy, what are you doing?” Sam stared at him, horrified.

“This is how much I want to be your friend. And, if you’ll let me, you’re soulmate,” Guy added, tossing Sam a soft smile.

“Guy… you don’t have to do this. You don’t have to force yourself…” He fell silent as the taller man pressed a finger to his lips. 

“That’s enough, Sam. I do have to do this.” Guy withdrew, and focused his attention on the green food staring up at him. “I’m not sure they’re going to be good here, Sam, but I’m going to TRY.”

“Don’t be insane,” Sam chuckled. This time, he reached out, and took Guy’s free hand. “Green eggs and ham are good anywhere.” The little man in the red hat pressed a quick kiss to the darker furred hand in his grasp. “And I love you – just saying.”

Guy’s expression softened as he gazed back at his soulmate. “I love you, too, Sam-I-Am.” Without another word, he shoved the green yolked egg into his mouth, and started to chew. 

“Sayyyy, I LIKE green eggs and ham. I do. I like them, Sam-I-Am. I would eat them with you anywhere,” Guy announced, dropping his fork, and pulling the smaller man into a tight embrace. “But as good as they are, I think we should start trying new things, too. Would you agree, soulmate of mine?”

“I do…” Sam-I-Am sighed, gazing up at him with a besotted expression.

“Then it’s settled. Let’s get Mr. Jenkins home, and then we can start planning our next step… as a couple,” said Guy, stroking a hand over his soulmate’s ivory cheek fur. 

“I’d like that, Guy-Am-I. I’d like that a lot,” Sam whispered, snuggling against his palm. 

“Good. Now then, if you’re not opposed…” Guy leaned in closer, stopping a breath away from his friend.

“If you want to kiss me, I give you full permission, my Guy,” the red-hatted man laughed. Their lips inched closer for their first true kiss.

“There they are!”

“That’s my chickaraff!”

“Eep!” Sam glanced over Guy’s shoulder to see the Snerz and the Bad Guys racing toward them. Pressing a quick kiss to his soulmate’s lips, he grabbed the suitcase, and Guy’s hand, and began to run toward the balloonivators. 

“Sam!” Guy called out, clasping their hands together tightly.

“Don’t worry, my fair Guy. We’ll have a proper kiss when this is all over,” Sam promised.

“I’m holding you to that promise,” said Guy, even as they dashed into the balloonivator, and frantically pressed the ‘close door’ button. Their pursuers were inches away from reaching them when the doors closed, trapping the soulmates safely inside. 

“Sooo… we’re alone now,” said Sam, setting the suitcase down by his feet.

“So we are,” Guy chuckled. “But we’re not having our first kiss in an elevator.”

“Not even a little one?” Sam pleaded, clasping his hands together as he smiled up at his Guy.

“Well, maybe a little one,” sighed Guy, caving in. He bent down, and then straightened right back up again when a bell rang, and the doors opened to admit more people inside.

“Raincheck on that, Sam,” the larger man coughed, squeezing closer to his soulmate to avoid being separated by the oncoming crowd. 

“I’m holding you to that, handsome,” said Sam, linking their hands together. “Let’s get Mr. Jenkins home.”


	2. Chapter 2

“What’s your big announcement, Guy?” his father asked, waiting with baited breath. The rest of the family was spread out in the livingroom, watching Guy and Sam who were standing at the front of the room.

Guy cleared his throat, glancing down at his friend briefly for reassurance. Then, stepping forward, he waved his hands at his family. “I would like to introduce you to my soulmate, Sam-I-Am.”

“Soulmate!”

“Did he say, soulmate?”

A rush of voices flooded the room as the entire family took in their newest couple. 

Guy’s mother took several steps forward, reaching out to touch her son on the shoulder. Then she did the same to Sam, pulling them both into a tight hug. “I’m so happy for you both. Although I have to admit, I had a feeling something was going on between you two.”

“Congratulations! Now let’s see those matching soulmarks,” Guy’s brothers exclaimed.

Guy and Sam brushed the fur back from their wrists, and showed off the little green eggs proudly.

“Bout time you figured it out,” grandpa Am-I said, reaching up to pinch Guy’s cheek. “I’m surprised it took you this long. I figured you two were _‘gettin' to know one another’_ in your tree house the last time you visited.”

“Grandpa! We were not,” Guy protested, his cheeks bursting into flames.

“We were just friends back then, grandpa Am-I. We both had things we needed to work out first. And we only showed each other our soulmarks a few weeks ago, after we sent Mr. Jenkins home. Still, I wouldn’t trade my Guy for anyone else in the world,” Sam sighed, taking Guy’s hand. 

“We’re so happy for you both. So what are you planning to do now?” Guy’s mother asked.

“Guy and I thought we’d sleep in the tree house until we could find a nice place to rent here in Stovepipe Junction. We’re going to settle down for a bit. He wants to try his hand at inventing again, and I’m going to get a real job… er, a more long term job, I mean,” Sam explained.

“That sounds wonderful,” Guy’s father said.

“You know, we’ve been meaning to hire a secretary for our company,” Doug-Am-I said, eyeing his little brother’s soulmate with interest. “You know anyone with a cheerful personality, and a sunny outlook on life? Someone who loves to meet new people, answer questions, and just happens to be looking for a job?”

“Oh my gosh – I am all those things!” Sam insisted, shaking Guy’s arm excitedly.

“Then you’re hired,” Randy-Am-I said. 

“You hear that, Guy? I’ve got a job. A real job,” Sam squeaked, clinging to Guy’s arm.

“I heard. You’ll do great, Sam. And you two better not mess with my soulmate,” Guy warned, but there was a smirk on his lips as he watched his older brothers grin back at him.

“No promises on April Fool’s Day,” Doug warned, fist bumping Randy.

“You have to watch these two on April Fool’s Day,” Guy warned his soulmate. “They used to team up against me.”

“Well, now they’ll have to team up against the dream team,” Sam laughed. “That’s us, by the way.”

“We sure are,” Guy admitted softly.

“This calls for a treat,” Guy’s mother announced. “I made cake!”

“Why is it green?” Guy asked, as everyone crowded around the table.

“It’s made from green eggs, and green flour, of course,” she replied.

“Ah, of course,” said Guy, shaking his head. “Well, let’s eat.”

* * *

“Sam?”

“Yes, Guy?”

Guy sat up, blowing on the little pinwheel, the only source of light in the tent. It lit up, casting a blue glow on the face of his soulmate, who was snuggled up under the blankets at his side.

“Are you sure this is okay? We don’t have to stay here,” Guy sighed, his old anxieties creeping back up on him. A yellow furred hand covered his own. 

“I like it here, Guy. I never had a family before, so I think it will be nice to live close to yours. I just hope I don’t mess anything up,” Sam said, tightening their fingers together.

“You could never mess anything up, Sam. My family adores you, and I adore you, too,” said Guy, leaning down to press their lips together. He felt the smaller man’s hands wrap around his neck, pulling him closer.

“I adore you, too, Guy-Am-I,” Sam said, his eyes twinkling as they pulled apart.

“Alright then. Goodnight, Sam-Am-I,” chuckled Guy, pressing a last kiss to his soulmate’s forehead, before laying back down. They snuzzled together under the blankets as the pinwheel’s light began to fade.

“Wait a minute. Did you say ‘Sam-Am-I?’” Sam asked excitedly.

“I did. I’d like you to take my last name when we get married. Is that okay with…” Guy was cut off by a petite body attempting to bury itself even tighter against his chest.

“Of course, it’s okay. I’m going to be an Am-I!”

“That’s wonderful news!”

“Did you hear that? Guy asked Sam to marry him!”

“You go, little brother!”

Guy groaned as his family’s voices chorused from the house. “Soooo… want to get married, Sam?”

“You know I do,” Sam answered immediately. “But only when you’re ready, Guy.”

Guy tightened his arms around his soulmate, and buried his face into the little man’s shoulder. “I’m ready as I’ll ever be. I love you, Sam-Am-I.”

“Love you, too – you big softie you.”

* * *

Note: Doug is the blue furred brother, and Randy is the purple furred one. 


End file.
